My Life Thus Far : By Marcus Dwayne Woodard
I was born in Kansas City, Missouri, on a brisk Sunday in 1979. Some people celebrate the sabbath on Sunday, but some do it on Saturday. Does that make Saturday less holy? I have no idea, but I do know when enough is enough, and I need to move forward with my life. I have learned this over time from experiences that I may or may not have enjoyed, but I made the best of what I had when the cards were dealt. I have been making a lot of grown-up decisions longer than I should have, which has led to a lot of interesting situations that apparently I need to talk about over and over, which isn't necessarily my cup of tea or coffee, but a lot of times in life, you will have to do the same thing until you can change things. Just my personal experience. I unenrolled myself from school when I was 15 years old because I was tired of the life I was living and needed an immediate change to keep my sanity.
San·i·ty
/ˈsanədē/
noun
In the 1990s, at least in my community, mental health for a fifteen-year-old wasn't as popular as it is today. At an early age, I was in touch with my personal feelings well, which caused a lot of problems in my personal life, considering I wasn't an adult. During my time, kids were told what to feel. In my community, that is. With that being said, I'm an advocate for counseling and anything else that will help people evolve into the best person they can be. One thing I learned about therapy is that you have to be honest with people, but first be honest with yourself. If a person can't be honest about their feelings, then they can never truly heal either way. I understood that I needed to meet my education requirements, so I decided to enroll in the Job Corps in Excelsior Springs, Missouri. When I made it to the campus, I almost instantly started to feel better about my life. Before I left for Job Corps, I was working with one of my uncles, helping fix a garage, and another one of my uncles on his taco truck. Even before that, I was paid in the third grade to maintain watering the lawn of a property that my parents were renting. I wasn't a lawn jockey; I was a well-paid lawn sprinkler. This started my love affair with having my own money. As a child, I was the oldest of three, and my parents weren't well off, but they were young when they had me, so life was a lot of learning experiences, not to mention I was very advanced in a lot of ways that didn't transfer into being an obedient kid all the time. A lot of actions I took previously to enrolling in the Job Corps led to my failing in school, not being able to participate in athletics, and not having the best relationship with my parents. At some point in time, I started taking full responsibility for my actions and stopped blaming my parents for the choices I made.
Re·spon·si·bil·i·ty
/rəˌspänsəˈbilədē/
noun
The Job Corps facility I attended offered a wide range of vocational trades as well as opportunities to complete my High School education. I chose culinary arts because I went through a period of time where struggle meals was the norm, and I wanted to learn how to not repeat this way of life when I was finally on my own. I tried to take the G.E.D. but failed the test due to not taking it seriously and studying. This was a habit I formed in middle school when life was starting to become more difficult than I personally could handle. I would only go to school to visit with my friends, who I considered to have a normal life. I could have taken the G.E.D. again, but I decided to just go to classes on campus to achieve my High School diploma. Professionally or personally, I don't think there's a huge difference between the two, considering the work that goes into achieving either. You can't just go and guess, then pass a G.E.D. test. I proved that to myself. Unfortunately, some people will frown upon one over the other because they couldn't do it or have a negative disposition about credentials. People will judge you for the way your hair grows. That's life. Regardless of what you people will debate, hate, or laugh at you. My best advice is to stay true to yourself, regardless of anybody else. While I was in the Job Corps, I made friends, played basketball, and witnessed a lot of misguided youths like myself make their lives worse or better. I could have stayed in Job Corps for a few years, but at some point in time, which has happened a few times in life, I started to get bored with my surroundings, so I decided to double down and spend more time working in my room on completing my High School diploma rather than hanging out with other people. I adopted this method more in life once I realized it was beneficial to me. After completion, I decided to join the Navy because I felt it was meant for me to be anywhere but where I was at that present time. I left for boot camp as soon as possible. I don't think the ink dried on my certificate before I was on a plane to the Great Lakes, Illinois. After I completed boot camp, I went to school for my soon-to-be job. I chose to be a builder, which was located in Gulfport, MS. I remember making it to base by cab and being driven to the wrong location, then having to walk to the school barracks with my duffle bag on my back. I learned a lot in school, but not as much as I probably should have because my heart wasn't into actually being the best recruit I could possibly be. As I stated before, I was extremely young and didn't take the responsibility of being a part of the military as seriously as I should have. At times, I wonder what my life would have been like if I had chosen to stay in the military, considering the struggles I have encountered after I was discharged. When I was released from the Navy, I stayed in Mississippi for a bit until life directed me back to Kansas City. I tried my best to pick up where I left off and move accordingly, but I felt in my soul that I needed to be somewhere else. A few years passed by, and eventually I landed on Florida's shores in Pompano Beach. Almost immediately, I knew it was meant for me to be there. By year 1, I was married, and by year 2, I fathered my youngest daughter. I have 3 daughters, by the way, which is the only reason I didn't mention this, because for once this isn't about them, this is about me. Anyway, my vision was altered when I decided to stay in Florida. At first, my plan was to make as much money as I could working with disaster relief, then return to the Midwest and jump into flipping houses. Every day, I would continue to chip away, waiting for that payday that never came the way it was projected. I made the best of it and moved forward with trying to build a construction company. Eventually, avenues that I never knew would be available started to appear. A neighbor of mine needed to use my computer and decided to upload a music production program to my computer, which I was renting from Rent-A-Center. Thus far, I have only used it to create bids for jobs and to build a construction company. Not really knowing much other than that, I knew I could perform the task at hand, but regardless, I had a plan. One day, I took a look at the music production program and was amazed at how fast, with minimum direction, making beats came to me. Writing has always come naturally, and rapping was a pastime thing I did with friends and my brothers from time to time, but I never took it seriously until the opportunity presented itself at the right time. I started making beats in my free time and writing rhymes. Before I moved to Florida, I was always running the streets looking for new places to rest my feet and always looking for ladies to meet. My life completely changed, and I focused on my new opportunity in life. It took me about a year to do my first project because it was a collaborative effort. Once that was completed, I burned copies on my computer, bought copies at FedEx and local print shops of my compact disk inserts. I did the best I could with no budget but faith that this was what I was supposed to be doing with my time. The feedback I received led me to believe that I needed to proceed. I started to meet new aspiring artists and network with local business owners, and not only work on my craft but also work on my math. I understood that I entered a young man's game late, so I had to analyze the weight of that complicated plate. I knew I couldn't just be an artist and expect to achieve my goal, which by the way was never fame. My spirit was telling me to continue pressing forward to an unknown destination, but my daughters were always my motivation. I lost a lot of relationships over my time pursuing what I felt in my heart was my duty. That's life; everybody isn't meant to be a part of your life forever. People will change, as well as their position in your life. Friends will become enemies or family. My wife became the mother of my child, and some family members have become strangers. One thing that I have understood as time passes by is that nobody's perfect, including myself. I try my best to understand that everybody has their own view on a situation; periodically, you have to evaluate yourself to fully comprehend where you may or may not have gone wrong in a scenario. At some point in time, I had to start focusing on my ambitions alone. It wasn't as hard as I thought it would be, considering I was trying to build a group of people to network and collaborate with. When you realize that you are the only one who believes in your path, then you have to spend more time working and less time cohorting. It has been a lot of long hours and lonely nights, yet still I continued to fight for my slice. I have never made any substantial amount of money that would make me believe in anything that I have been doing artistically, though I kept producing year after year because I believe in my soul that if it wasn't meant for me to continue, then I would have received some type of sign from the universe. A person might think that because I wasn't making a living as an artist, then it was just a hobby, or it wasn't meant for me to keep moving forward. I learned a long time ago that you have to ignore what people think when you know what you're supposed to be doing or pursuing. I do my best to listen and weigh any constructive criticism on a balanced scale. I don't take it personally because I have spent so much time alone that if the person is on the right path, then I will definitely add it to my glass and see how long it will last. If the person is way off the mark, then the conversation is over before we part. The person who knows everything doesn't know enough, so my ears always stay open, but not too much. Every time an opportunity presented itself that I felt would be at least a learning experience, I would partake. Seminars, local bars, and promo cars. Not my cars because, as I said before, I didn't have any budget for anything when I finally found my groove. The music industry actually started to evolve from being physical to going digital. Once I realized this, I didn't panic because I felt that for a person like myself with talent but no capital, it could only help. I started focusing on learning how to present myself to people who could possibly change my life for the better in the business realm. I designed a plan to release my music independently online. At first, I had a website built for me that was controlled by a third party. Then I started building my website myself after I was comfortable with the direction of my art. I didn't want to do too much at one time and stop my momentum before I could set my ship in motion. I was already learning my way of making music, teaching myself videography, and trying to be the best father I could. What I taught myself a lot of people went to school for, but you can't teach vision, drive, and determination. Your vision has to be carefully crafted, or it will turn into being delusional. Drive and motivation come from your spirit and have to be built from within. Determination is built through trial and error and creating the habit to succeed. At the end of the day, all this is a choice. It's the hard choice to be honest, because it's easier to choose to give up, but it's also easier to fail than it is to prevail. Time will always tell.